cat lovers, i am in need of answers

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i have to move about a block away. Quicksilver walked into my life about a year ago. the bond was fast & hard. an animal bond i hadn’t shared with any other cat since Walter. Hobbes loved me, but his life before us, made him different. i had an immediate bond, within days, of meeting & naming Quicksilver.

But he came from one of the two churches near by. his family is still there. I don’t know why he left his colony for me. Sometimes he does go back to visit, but he runs to me when i come home. he runs in with the dogs. he is part of our family. he has a nest i made for him in the garage. He slept inside on cold nights & rainy days. sometimes i think the neighborhood fox shows up & he will sleep inside the garage then too. I have tried to see if he liked to come inside the house but he yowls.

the problem is i am moving into an apartment. i have two dogs & ivy & i think my heart will be torn in two if i leave him behind. but then i think i am selfish, knowing he would not like to live with us there. i do know one of my dogs, who has at least five different hunting breeds in his body, will go insane in this apartment. If i gave him to someone who needed & wanted a hunting dog, give him a life far better than i could, Β then my son would never forgive me. will he? I have no bond with Cole, he is my 12 year old son’s dog. yet , Cole knows it is me who takes care of him. Cole deserves a better life than what we could give him. My husky has cancer, she is starting to feel more pain. Just as i think she will not make it another day, she turns into a pup again.i don’t understand that. But i am pleased she has good days. When she no longer wishes to eat or drink & and cannot make it up the stairs, i will let her go be with Blue.

when i have a strong bond with an animal, i feel as though we are somehow linked, perhaps Quicksilver branded me in some unknown cat way. Β and i have no idea if i am making sense at all because i keep crying

Do i leave him & find him at the church to feed & love him when i can or do i try to take him with me? he could live on our balcony. i would make it his room. and i can let him out the door. our apartment is at the very, very end of a million buildings, i look over the parking lot to the woods, it seems to be the most private section of this place. i am taking three animals with me & i only want two. Cole will be so sad stuck at the apartment.

what is the right thing to do? please don’t answer if you hate cats or dogs.

68 thoughts on “cat lovers, i am in need of answers

  1. A Tale of Two Cats – I can tell from the emotion with which you write the deep love you have not only for Quicksilver but for all animals. The bond you and Quicksilver have formed is one of those ‘cut to the quick’ heartaches when we are trying to out-think what they really want.
    Is he by any chance a Russian Blue. The reason I ask is the Russian Blue has special needs many other breeds don’t have.
    My husband and I had to make the same decision you did when we moved from our first home to a 2nd larger home approximately 20 miles away. We had a domestic Tabby [srictly a house cat] and then a Russian Blue adopted us. He was content to stay in the garage although we did take him to the vet for shots, well cat check and that kind of thing.
    When we moved to the country, I insisted we take the Russian Blue with us but my husband was against it as the cat hadn’t really bonded with us other than at feeding time and when he wanted someone to come out and ‘talk’ or for rubs and loving.
    Russian Blue’s were bread to hunt and that’s what this cat loved to do. I knew he would never make a house cat.
    I’m sad to say, we moved him to the country and I was heartbroken when we never saw him again. I should have left him right where he was.
    However, we have a 2nd story of adopting a pure blood Russian Blue as a kitten from a local shelter and he was both an inside/outside cat. He loved to hunt and would bring me his bounty daily. Never a more beautiful and majestic cat have I ever seen but he needed lots of space. The primary element I’ve learned is they live by their own rules and will repay you in kind many times over if you are simply you.
    Maybe if you show Quicksilver where you are moving, he will migrate to your new apartment eventually.
    I wish you the best of luck.

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    1. Hi, Quicksilver showed up one day. I caught him eating the leftover dog food. My other cat, Hobbes, informed Quicksilver that i was safe. The bond was instant as soon as we touched. A bond that seems so familiar that i thought we already knew one another…i left him at the house, but went back to feed him. my kids & a friend were waiting for me to come back from the grocery store b/c i’d forgotten to bring cat food. I walked to the backyard & yelled his name…he ran straight to me & i to him (as much as i could with a bag of food) he looked terrible. he hadn’t been cleaning his coat & he had lost weight already. I grabbed him up, put him in the car & he slept curled up against me the whole night. He has adapted better to the chaos of boxes everywhere, then Ivy has. I think the bond is felt strongly from him too. Thank you for sharing your story with me. I am in love & happier than i thought i would be! ~amy

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  2. Wow, that’s a tricky situation! 😦 I am an animal lover, too (although I don’t have pets right now, unfortunately) and yes, that’s a real heart-breaker of a decision. I know of a similar story; maybe it will be helpful to you.

    I have a friend who adopted a cat from a shelter about five years ago. He was an outdoor cat by upbringing and by inclination, and he used to spend most of his days outside. One day he came home with a new collar on, and my friend discovered that he had “adopted” a neighborhood family, and had been splitting his time living in both houses! My friend got in touch with this other family, and eventually, although my friend was sad about it, they all agreed that the cat could become the sole property of the other family. My friend had her reasons, and although it was a tough decision, ultimately it was best for the cat, who lived the remainder of his days well cared for, and dropped by to visit my friend when he felt like it.

    If Quicksilver already has another family, and if you can see him at church and still visit, it might be best to just let him go. You’re right, he would probably not be happy in the confines of the apartment. I know it hurts, but it’s probably what’s best for him. And who knows, maybe he’ll find you again. You’re only a block away. πŸ™‚

    I’m not an expert, that’s just my two cents. Hugs to you on this difficult decision. What a kind heart you have!

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    1. Thank you, Misha…that neighborhood cat was a cheater! The best of both world, he was probably upset to have been discovered his cheating ways :). I have been given so many answers, they seem to split 50-50 on leaving or taking him with me. If he did get out of my apartment, he would try to cross the busiest road around to get back to the church. if that were not the case, then i would take him with me & if he HATED it, i would bring him back or set him free. I wish he didn’t love me so much. It seems lately though, he has stayed away most of the day & is not in hearing range. I have also seen his girlfriend. I would be selfish to take him, but i will probably leave him. I can call him to visit & bring him food if he appears as though he is not being taken care of…if his health starts to get worse, i can bring him home with me then. Yes? ~amy

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  3. I’m so sorry to hear about your Husky. I lost my Shepherd… She couldn’t walk on her hind legs and was in a lot of pain. Bringing them to the vet is so hard when it’s finally time. As for the hunting dog, talk to your son. I don’t have any idea what your dog is like, but my English setter adjusted to a rather inactive life. If your dog is crazy hyper though and you won’t be able to go outside enough, make SURE your son understands it would hurt the dog… Sad though…. My animals are my kids…. The cat I can’t answer… If Quicksilver is a stray I’d take him/her with. The bond is there… But I’d personally not let him outside. I don’t have any experience with outdoor cats becoming indoor cats…. I’ve had one cat who actually was more dog-like than average cat.. I know I haven’t been much help, but do what you feel is right. Dig deep in your heart and ask yourself if you could give Quicksilver a better life. Can you afford the extra vet bills, license, flea junk, and pet deposit? In or out, the apartment will know you have the cat eventually. Pretty much you’re the only one who can decide if what you do is right… Big digital hugs to you though. He looks like a sweet cat. Great photo of him too.

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    1. Thank you…watching Nala being in pain, is painful. She is still eating & drinking though, she pushes past the pain to go where she wants. She hates the stairs though. I know how she feels there. i have a broken pelvis put back together with nuts & bolts, it hurts me too. I think i will leave Quicksilver here, but if his health begins to diminish, then i will bring him to see if he can adapt. if not, then back to the church he will go. right now he has the whole world at his feet, with our creek in the back & food either at the church, gas station, my backyard table & my garage on rainy/cold days. He wouldn’t want to leave that behind, nor would i. But i will check on him often. & i will buy heart bandaids to cover the whole that Quicksilver will keep with him. sigh. ~amy

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    1. Personally i would take him too. But i know my backyard with its stream, fish, shelter & free food is what keeps him here. Now that the weather is warming up, he is staying at the church longer. I’ve decided i would leave him, then visit often, bringing food to the church cats, he does come to me when i call him. If i see his health starts to decline, i will take him back with me & we will give it a try. If he HATES it, then…i will listen to what he wants, instead of what i want. Tis so hard, Maureen. I wish he hadn’t bonded with me so hard. a true bonding isn’t as common as i once thought. Nala will not bond with me, because of trust issues. I think Nala (husky) was outside with her brother & had little human attention after she stopped being a cute puppy. She still flinches when i go to pet her. So i know her owners were awful to her. My husky Blue, was a bond made off steal cable. three years gone & i still ache. i hope Quicksilver doesn’t hurt my heart. ~amy

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  4. This is sad! I had three cats once lives in the house and liked going out in the backyard, climbing tree next to the house and would sit on the roof.
    Had to move to an apartment that had a porch. It took a while but they adjusted to the indoors easier than I thought. I made sure they could sit in windows and gradually let them out on the porch for a while when I sat out there.
    I would take him with me and try it. If it was just too much for him you could then take him back to the church and feed him. You would have given your best!

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    1. Hi Chuck. Thank you for your advice. I’ve been offered a lot. Most say bring him with me. But i think i will leave him & check on him everyday (its only a block away) i know he has a cat family & he divides his time with both of us. Now that the weather has gotten warmer with less rain, he stays away most of the day & returns at sunset. If i see his health become less then it is now, i will bring him to the apartment, but then we will have unpacked boxes & he will be more at ease. But i have seen his girlfriend-she is stunning! Chocolate brown head & tail, the rest of her is white. Quicksilver has been bringing her home with him. but she is still afraid to come anywhere near me. ~amy

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  5. If you at least want the cat to know where you live, you should take him with you. Take him, make him feel at home, give him a choice. Don’t overthink it. Don’t overthink it with any of your pets. They’re your family, they go where you go, even if you think they may be happier elsewhere, they’re bonded to you and they (especially dogs) want to be with you. Help them adapt to their new home.

    Good luck.

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    1. Oh so easy to say, but to do? I knew we are a Pack to the dogs. but Huskies reserve their energy for walks…basically they mimic the sloth & Nala has train Cole to do as she does, but it is against his nature to be like that. So he licks himself bald on his leg, he takes down pillows & he is unhappy while inside. That hurts me, that it is not how is, nor wants to be. He is fighting against his nature & it is very stressful to him. My Quicksilver, now that it rains less in Alabama & has become warm, he leaves all day, returning at sunset. I would take him with me, but i think i will come back to check on him, to see if he is doing well, by then the boxes will be unpacked & i will bring him home with me then, if he HATES it. i will feed him as all the neighborhood does to our two cat colonies. Thank you for your advice. it is so tough. ~amy

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  6. It sounds very much to me like you already know what the right thing is. a Cat should not live on a balcony, as it is unsafe; and if your hunting dog will not get proper exercise outside of the apartment, then it is only fair to place him in a loving home where he will be happy. Love is not often easy, but do LOVE through giving what is Best for these whom you Love.

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    1. Oh, if you knew what it was like to have a 12 year old son. if i didn’t, i would do as my pets want. Cole needs to live in the country, sniffing out everything. Nala can continue to be a sloth & i can still care for Quicksilver without him being hurt by my absence. I know Quicksilver believe he owns me & that is the part that hurts. Hopefully cats live in the NOW, & will not really notice that i am not around as much. Thank you, Morgan. ~amy

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  7. I see no one has commented yet and I think this is because these are very real difficult problems that there are no easy answers to. Perhaps you could delay in giving away your son’s dog till after the move. If your son could see the dog being miserable he may agree to finding him a new home. If Quicksilver doesn’t like the balcony you can take him back to his neighborhood. Best wishes for your move and for these challenges.

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    1. i have PTSD as well, through a horrifying marriage. i have almost 20 comments, but with the move i’ve been unable to answer or approve of them. I got internet yesterday…which is bad because i’m here on my computer when i should be unpacking. I went back to feed Quicksilver & when i called for him, he ran to me like some overly romantic reunion. I snagged his skinny & unkept body up while he was eating, put him in my SAAB (my steering wheel has four claw scratches on it) drove home & put him on the bed with me & we snuggled so well, that he started drooling. He is mine, as i am his. Quicksilver’s home is with me. He is a blessing, my angel on earth. Thank God for him. ~amy

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  8. I adore cats Amy .. This is so hard. I think the cat adores you, but is an apartment the answer for her? Such I tough decision .. You will make the right decision. Or Maybe the cat will make it for you .. Thinking of you both. Big hugs ..

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    1. Oh, Julie…like a romantic movie, i went back with cat food & called him & he came running & I started crying. He looked awful-so skinny & sickly. I took him home. i am his home. He sleeps behind my knees all night long. That is what love it & i treasure the glory of it…only because it has been absent for so long. ~amy

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  9. This is a very hard question to answer I have 3 cats all rescued off the street I know how you feel cause all 3 have imprinted themselves on me and my man who was a dog lover before our first cat arrived on our door step. Mr Puddy our first cat impressed my man because he did a poo in our shower over the plug hole so it was easy to clean after we fed him steak from our freezer. Our second cat Sputnik was rescued just before Cyclone Yasi came to our town Cairns and a day later his sister turned up as well so that was fun having 3 cats whilst going through a cat 5 cyclone peeing everywhere lol. We moved to Mackay with cat 1 and 2 our number 2 cat brought our number 3 cat squeakers into our lounge room and pretty much said feed him so we fed him and kept him. I can’t tell you what to do except follow your heart do what feels right for you I hope you come to the right decision please let me know how you go and am here if you need to talk more about your tricky decision πŸ™‚

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    1. my heart hurt. Quicksilver thinks of me as his home. I went back & he ran to me like a desperately sad, scared baby. He sleeps behind my knees & is happy to be with everyone else. Everything is lining up perfectly. Your story of your loves is hilarious…the the cyclone parts (that is horrifying!) but cats bringing cats. Quicksilver already knows how to use the litter box. He has done better then my other cat, Ivy. Cole, the dog, is doing pretty well. My husky is quickly becoming worse. but she is happy to lay on the rug on the patio…Thank you so much for sharing your story with me! ~amy

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  10. i know it’s too difficult to make that decision.. but if i were you i would take quicksilver along and as you said, you would prepare a place for him in the balcony.. by doing that he would let you know if he really wants to stay with you. as you said, you will be moving just a block away. if and when he doesn’t like it there for sure you would find him at the old location and you could check on him.. i know you have fallen in love with the lil guy but i guess we really don’t have control of all things and that’s sad.. well for me, just give it a shot. who knows he would decide to be with you at least you tried your very best. good luck πŸ™‚

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    1. Hi elizz…Quicksilver came home. I am his home. When i went to feed him, he already had lost weight & his coat looked terrible. The first night here, he slept behind my knees & drooled like a hose. We are together. All of us are so happy…and one i figure out what to do with all my crap (in boxes) it will really be a home. Thank you for your advice! ~amy

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  11. I don’t know much about cats, but if he is an outside cat, he probably will find it stressful not to be able to get out whenever he wants.
    As for Cole, if your son is prepared to get up early before school and take his dog on a long walk, and the same when he gets home, then Cole should adjust and be fine. Otherwise it would be kinder to the dog to give him to a good home, maybe somewhere close enough that your son could still see him?
    I am sorry to hear about your husky. My very old dog SL is also near the end, and has days like your dog. But dogs are amazing and really do just live in the moment. We will know when it is time to set them free.
    Good luck with your decisions, none of which is easy.

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    1. Thank you for your advice. I told my son the same thing about walking Cole, he did it. Quicksilver decided i was home. He has adjusted to the apartment better then my indoor cat. although, Ivy is right this minute on TOP of my bed, instead of beneath it. Cole is under my desk & feet & sound asleep. The animals are doing better with the chaos of the unpacked boxes than i am. ~amy

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      1. Aw, I am very glad to hear it. πŸ™‚ Yes, Animals are truly amazing; live life day by day and take change in their stride. We can learn a lot from them.
        Time for you to relax a bit too. And good luck settling into your new home πŸ™‚

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      2. I understand. My trick is – unpack the few essential boxes, and the rest, do one now and then. But blogging is a good way to relax πŸ™‚

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  12. What difficult choices. My thoughts are with you, but I have no answers. If you don’t mind taking a chance, I recommend an animal communicator. Danielle is good! See Insightwithanimsls.com.

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    1. Hi…i didn’t have to talk to anyone. my heart is linked with Quicksliver’s. Quicksilver knows that i am home. He sleeps behind my knees & drools with happiness. I had gone back to feed him & he looked terrible. He ran to me like i was his savior. He knows he is mine. I haven’t had a bond this strong since my dog Blue died. I am happy because my animals are. I just want someone to unpack for me. ~amy

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  13. Amy, I have three cats so I am a lover of cats. Take Quicksilver with you. You would be leaving a piece of your heart if you left him because you have no idea if he would go back to the church. But what if he did, who would he come back to? You would not be there. Please bring him with you.

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    1. No Worries, loisajay…i went back & he ran to me with such relief i could feel it. i started to cry & we held each other. He hates to be picked up. but i did it anyway. Now he sleeps in my bed with me every night. he is already looking healthier. Peace reigns in this Saab home. ~amy

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  14. It all depends on if you can find the right home for Cole. If you can then that would be my choice. It’s a good lesson for your son to learn about caring for animals. Their needs come first.

    It’s a hard time for all of you at the moment and you don’t need an unhappy dog chewing up your furniture in frustration or making you feel guilty.

    Do you know the people who will be living in your old house? Will they let Quicksilver have access to your garage? Maybe Q’s natural instinct to be free would be stronger than the draw of affection.
    It’s not an easy question……but maybe there isn’t a right or wrong answer….maybe you can try different options and it will all work itself out.

    Maybe if you give yourself a break and stop thinking about it the answers will come to you….

    That’s a lot of maybe’s but one thing is for sure your beautiful photographs make me feel. Some days I flick over the emotional ones and just soak up the goodness in the quirky happy ones….and that’s OK.

    Just do the best you can πŸ™‚

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    1. Thank you so much, Lucy. We are all together. Quicksilver decided i was home. he sleeps with me & peace reigns. Cole is adjusting pretty well. I do love waking my son up at 6 in the morning & tell him to walk the dogs. Cole is right under my feet. Nala is laying on the rug on the patio, Ivy (cat) is on my bed & quicksilver follows me around like my husky, Blue did. He meowed at me through the bathroom door…it sounded like, “what the heck do you think your doing…without me with you? Open the door, now” and i did. Your compliments astound me. & i thank you for taking the time to help me. Peace to you, Lucy! ~amy

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      1. I thank you for that. it was a very emotional impact to see him run to me. he looks better already, he slept on my chest for three hours, but first he gave himself a much needed bath. we are pack. ~amy

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    1. Dormis…Quicksilver considers me as his home, not the land we lived on. He is with me & the bond is as tight as ever. He is my shadow when i walk around boxes. Cole the dog is under my feet as i right this. Thank you so much for your suggestions. ~amy

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  15. as a life long cat lover, I would try to find a new owner and home for him (if possible). Cats will adapt to a good owner and it’s better that he’s where he is wanted and able to be safely kept than in a impossible situation where he may be attacked. There are some situations that just don’t work and that is life. Cat lovers are willing to do all kinds of things to take care of their cats. I known some who have traveled 1800 miles to save a cat who was owned by family. So you can’t have both as I see it. My cat comes first, any animal that interferes with that – goes but that’s my love of cats. So you decide what you cannot let go and then the decision becomes obvious. Stray cats and outdoor cats will want to go outside – that is their nature. If you can’t live without the cat, then take him with you but he will want out. Good luck!

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    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts/opinions with me. I went back to feed him & like a cheesy romance movie…i called his name & he came running to me & my tears went running down my face. it was then that i knew Quicksilver didn’t consider the land i lived on as his home. Quicksilver thought of me as home. He is with me & very, very happy to be here. ~amy

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      1. oh that’s great Amy! Cats get very attached to their owners and typically see you as their ‘mommy’. They can be very psychic and develop a strong bond with their ‘person’.
        Like dogs they know when you love them and that goes a long way with animals because they give unconditional love. If they choose you, as in a lost or abandoned cat/dog situation – they will be twice as attached/close to you. I’m happy he is with you and that you are both happy about this. My cat was abandoned as a baby kitten and left to fend for himself by his mommy in the wild. Now he is a very big cat and it is ten years later. He gets very upset if he cannot find me at night, and starts to whine (cat cry) sound. I refer to him as the heirophant’s kitty, only he is the king around
        here. He follows me around the house like a dog, will lay several feet from me when I’m working, comes to say goodnight every night when I go to bed and wants to be petted one last time before I go to sleep – he is a very loving cat and like a Ancient
        Egyptian times guard kitty where I am concerned. Of course, I love him to death and he knows that too!
        Good luck with your kitty, he is a beautiful cat and looks very intelligent to me. You can’t go wrong with an animal who loves you – cats are stress busters and good therapy, and they can beat people 10 ways to Sunday because they are so constant
        like the Northern star etc. πŸ™‚

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      2. “cats are stress busters & good therapy, & they can beat people 10 ways to Sunday because they are so constant like the Northern star” i love the ‘etc’ as you write with power, but then you are done. I am glad you have a guard cat. Quicksilver always sat with me outside & looked around for predators to keep me safe. I thanked him for it. In the old house, we all had memories of a predator that could become enraged & irrational. i left that all behind me & its…almost heaven. can you help me unpack boxes? where do i put all my books?! i have hundred & no bookshelf….sigh

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      3. nope I’m booked for the rest of the year! *L* but maybe you’ll meet a friendly neighbor who is extra nosey and want to see what you have in all those boxes… πŸ™‚

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      4. oh, just a thousand books. without a bookshelf in which to put them. I lack the space for a normal sized bookshelf so i’ll have to come up with something. Thanks anyway! πŸ™‚ ~amy

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  16. I would take Quicksilver w/me, esp because you love him so. I’d find another home for your sons dog bec sounds like he will be too cramped in the apt. Giving a pet another home is okay, just make sure he is not put to sleep. Sometimes we have to make hard choices, responsible ones but our needs come before a pets, if that makes sense. Praying you have peace once you decide.

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    1. Oh, i have peace. Cole, the dog is under my feet. Quicksilver came home with me two days after i moved & now sleeps with me. It was never the land he loved, as i thought…it was me. Thank you for taking the time to answer my question. ~amy

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      1. Yay! So happy it worked out this way. I read your description of going back to feed him, finding his coat messy & you bringing him home with you. A satisfying ending for you both. Happy endings rock!

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  17. You are In a pickle, Amy. In this situation I would try hard to relocate the dogs to the best possible homes I could find. Take the cat with you. I’ll be in an apartment soon too. At this time in my life, cats are a better option. But growing up with dogs made me love either specie. Use the Contact form on my site should you want to talk more on this. It’s no small decision. ❀️

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    1. Hi John, thank you for your thoughts/opinions. I took everyone. I took my house cat, Ivy, Nala & Cole. I went back to the house to feed Quicksilver & even though he had food, he looked awful. I scooped that cat up & took him with me. He was never in love with the land, or perhaps he did, but not as much as he loves me. he thinks of me as home. ~amy

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  18. I’m so sorry, this has to be painful. I don’t know that anyone, but you, knows the Right thing to do for each one of these animals.
    I guess its not about our human wants, or our kids wants, but what in the long term – will be best for each animal.
    I’ve been thru these things. its miserable.
    you can always try….all 3, for a trial period, and see who it works out for. ?

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    1. Thanks Deb. I have everyone. I went back two days after the move to feed Quicksilver, he looked awful & he ran to me like a cheesy romance movie. I put him in the car, then in the carrier, then in my bed. He was so happy he started to drool. i am in heaven. Cole is doing ok. I think he will adapt. We are PACK. and i made the right choice. So, when can you swing by & help me unload fifteen years of crap, packed in boxes?! ~amy πŸ™‚

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      1. that made me smile. πŸ™‚
        and the boxes, yuk! I feel for you. I still have some unpacked. 😦 from our last move. it is so much fun.
        i think dogs can do ok; as long as they get a good decent walk every day. even if they are in apt. Quality of Pack life, more important. than size of turf.

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      2. Absolutely we are pack. it seems as the cats understand that in their own way. dogs know we own them, cats believe they own us. πŸ™‚ it sure is crowded, but the dogs LOVE the balcony. i should be unpacking now…Thanks, Deb!

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  19. Since Quicksilver has another part time home perhaps you could speak to someone at the church to look after him. He might be happier there than a strange new place. The dog is the more difficult problem because of your son. You’d have to explain it to him and perhaps he could visit Cole at his new place should you decide to re-home him. Best wishes ~

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    1. Hi Maverick…Nope, Quicksilver thinks of me as home. I am very happy to say that he sleeps behind my knees & drools with happiness. Cole is doing alright…i feel for him, but i know dogs & cats live in the ‘Now’ and life is what it is. Thank you so much for your advice. ~amy

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