a memoir of the zit queen (or my cure for zits)

DSC_0606my brothers called me that. Zit Queen…it wasn’t as though my face looked worse than anyone else’s my age, it was that i beat them both into puberty. However, nicknames stick. My twin brother gave me a great nickname…Aimbrain. How could i be offended by that? I was smarter than he was. Although he would argue that wasn’t the case.

i found a cure for acne. i’m not a doctor, nor do i pretend to be one on this blog. However…i just can’t keep the secret to myself.

It all started when i ordered bread at the bakery & forgot to ask them to slice it for me. I discovered this when i got home from the store. because life just sucks. i went back to the grocery store for a bread knife. the bread knife’s packaging was hard, clear plastic over just the blade, then wrapped with one of those white plastic ties, the kind that requires an axe to open. I decide to open it with another knife, because i’m an idiot. the white tie was far weaker than expected. The end result was that i stabbed myself, in the thick, juicy meat of my thumb, near my palm. the knife went in about an inch. i look down at the knife, that is now inside my meaty thumb…in total disbelief. what?! I pull the knife out (And like a cork in a bottle, the blood sprayed) and i throw my arm in an arc of…pain. Splattering blood from the cabinets to ceiling to fridge to floor. i grab bounty to stop the bleeding. it is bleeding like a horror movie. i put pressure on the hand…but i want to call my parents because i have no way of stopping the blood on my own. I need to put a tremendous amount of pressure to stop the flooding O’ blood. i used an entire roll of paper towels. after i called my parents, i remembered i have a bathrobe, that has a belt! So i wrapped my hand in bounty paper towels & a bathrobe belt.  i call my parents back & tell them, “Never mind, i got the blood to stop” they inform me they are minutes away. I show it to my dad & he makes butterfly bandages for me, using regular ones…”no, i don’t want to go have it stitched up, i don’t have any money” “No, i don’t want to spend hours in an ER tonight”  My father wrapped my hand up as tight as he could, but before he leaves, he sees the trash can full of bounty (the quicker picker upper) towels, every single piece soaked in blood. he says, “I think i’ll take your trash out for you, wouldn’t want anyone to think someone had been murdered”

The stab wound is on my left hand. which means i open the wound back up a thousand times. the bandage will not stay on, leaving it open to infection & it will not heal unless i have it stitched up. NOPE. i go to the grocery store & look far below the bandages & i find the magic potion that, in the end, cured me. That is what magic potions do. Its called New-Skin Liquid Bandage…it’s got antiseptic in it. It’s like varnish for your skin. it’s wet & it sinks into the wound & dries tight like varnish. Inside there is a paintbrush. i covered my stab wound (warning it does burn for a bit). three days later, the cut has closed up & looks completely healed.

Life moves forward. hormones rage & i get a pimple (sounds so much better than a zit). the pimple becomes an open wound…i think of my thumb injury. i put a dot of the magic potion over it. the very next day, the pimple is gone. IT’S GONE! i repeat this over & over to every pimple that pops up. i try it on my daughter’s cold sore…it hasn’t been tested by the FDA. But i would strongly recommend trying it yourself.

i do not struggle with acne anymore. if i get one, i use the magic potion (NEW-SKIN liquid Bandage) over any new wound that appears on my face.

and acne is a wound, it is an open sore, it is exposed to air, to the food you eat & people touch their face constantly, thus making the open wound become big, red, hot & inflamed, otherwise known as an infection. images

acne is an injury, it is an open sore. so i treat it like one. PS works great on skinned knees, bug bites, scratches, small cuts, hangnails, cold sores…any small open injury.

 

 

 

(and please don’t be an idiot & think it cures toothaches or itchy eyes. it’s for skin only)

amy, why the flower picture?

my choices for images was my stab wound, which turned black & blue the next day, or a zit (but i don’t have one right now) and besides, the title is gross, we should look at something pretty…

 

10 thoughts on “a memoir of the zit queen (or my cure for zits)

  1. Ha, a! No zits here, but my husband is allergic to band-Aid adhesive. He’s always nicking or cutting something. People have recommended the liquid skin, but I’d never heard anyone say it was good now, I think I we’ll give it a try.

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  2. Oh wow! I wish I had known this years ago. I had bad zits and also always had New Skin in the house. I’m old now. LOL But once in a while I still get a zit or two (adult acne, I guess it’s called). I put something on it called Zap Zit, which works overnight. But I sure wish I had known to use the New Skin when I was younger!

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