Do you ever wonder why…when a compliment is given, we deflect it? as in “you are so beautiful” “oh, gosh, i didn’t do my hair today, my clothes are old, these old bags under my eyes, i haven’t slept in a week, etc.” and sometimes compliments feel as if they float away, as though tangible, like dandelion seeds, never to be reassembled for us to OWN THEM? BUT, oh, mean or petty or nasty words, those stick to us like superglue.
have you ever wonder why this is?
i hate that saying, “sticks & stones my break my bones, but words will never hurt me” because, really it is supreme bullshit, right? see, if someone hits you, then you know they are bullies. BUT if someone tells you, “you’re fat, you’re ugly, you’re useless, you’re awful” well, sometimes there is enough truth in it, so MUST be true, right? and boy, do we hold on tightly to the negative.
i like to play tricks with my camera. putting micro weeds into small vases, then pulling the lens back to show their true size. i sometimes write, “perception is everything” i am a firm believer in that. i am smart enough to know that some of the compliments i’ve received over the course of my lifetime have been true. perception is everything, the photo above is distorted, maybe this is closer to how we see ourselves?
i spend a lot of time alone & i have to understand this almost universal truth. why we absorb the negative & deny the positive? i have to figure this out, bear with me. why?because my brain NEVER. SHUTS. UP.
i think we feel negative words because we are born incomplete. common sense dictates that if we ALL feel…not right, not whole. then there must be an answer.
i think we are incomplete for this reason: during our lifetime, we walk a path that helps to complete us. it is at the end of our lives that we feel more content within ourselves. we reach for religion or nature or books or gardens. if we were born feeling content, there would be no drive for us to search for higher meaning for our existence, right?
We are born to journey forth. and “arrogance is blinding” which means if all the compliments i’ve received were taken to heart, then i would be an arrogant ass-know-it-all. if i reached this stage in my journey at, say 21, my life would be…stunted? So we must feel like crap at times, ecstatic at others…to learn from each emotion to grow & learn to adapt or endure.
Then that would mean (to me) that the reason for life is to learn & grow throughout. Cool beans.
“It is because I have stood on the shoulders of Giants”, said Sir Isaac Newton
what we look like
what we think we look like
how words make us feel.
i know this is a mess & completely incomplete, i’ll clean it up later