Do you ever wonder why…when a compliment is given, we deflect it? as in “you are so beautiful” “oh, gosh, i didn’t do my hair today, my clothes are old, these old bags under my eyes, i haven’t slept in a week, etc.” and sometimes compliments feel as if they float away, as though tangible, like dandelion seeds, never to be reassembled for us to OWN THEM? BUT, oh, mean or petty or nasty words, those stick to us like superglue.
have you ever wonder why this is?
i hate that saying, “sticks & stones my break my bones, but words will never hurt me” because, really it is supreme bullshit, right? see, if someone hits you, then you know they are bullies. BUT if someone tells you, “you’re fat, you’re ugly, you’re useless, you’re awful” well, sometimes there is enough truth in it, so MUST be true, right? and boy, do we hold on tightly to the negative.
i like to play tricks with my camera. putting micro weeds into small vases, then pulling the lens back to show their true size. i sometimes write, “perception is everything” i am a firm believer in that. i am smart enough to know that some of the compliments i’ve received over the course of my lifetime have been true. perception is everything, the photo above is distorted, maybe this is closer to how we see ourselves?
i spend a lot of time alone & i have to understand this almost universal truth. why we absorb the negative & deny the positive? i have to figure this out, bear with me. why?because my brain NEVER. SHUTS. UP.
i think we feel negative words because we are born incomplete. common sense dictates that if we ALL feel…not right, not whole. then there must be an answer.
i think we are incomplete for this reason: during our lifetime, we walk a path that helps to complete us. it is at the end of our lives that we feel more content within ourselves. we reach for religion or nature or books or gardens. if we were born feeling content, there would be no drive for us to search for higher meaning for our existence, right?
We are born to journey forth. and “arrogance is blinding” which means if all the compliments i’ve received were taken to heart, then i would be an arrogant ass-know-it-all. if i reached this stage in my journey at, say 21, my life would be…stunted? So we must feel like crap at times, ecstatic at others…to learn from each emotion to grow & learn to adapt or endure.
Then that would mean (to me) that the reason for life is to learn & grow throughout. Cool beans.
“It is because I have stood on the shoulders of Giants”, said Sir Isaac Newton
what we look like
what we think we look like
how words make us feel.
i know this is a mess & completely incomplete, i’ll clean it up later
11 Comments Add yours
I found myself laughing out loud many times during this, even though it does go through some dark and deep thoughts. I don’t know if there is a god. But I do know it’s dangerous for humans to assign anthropomorphic traits to such a deity. Then you’ve got authors putting their spins on things, so that they may curry political favor, like “the Philistines were dirty,” when in fact, they were historically a very hygienic people. lol. I think humans feel incomplete so that they can confide in each other. Our perceived flaws, vulnerabilities and insecurities bind us. I mean, that’s why Louis C.K. is such a successful comedian. He draws people into this world of ribald honesty and makes them laugh. Life is absurd. I don’t think humans are programmed to be happy. We were programmed to reproduce, but that doesn’t mean we can’t derive a little humor from uncomfortable situations. I have nephews who think fart jokes are the most hilarious thing ever. And they’re right. Fart jokes wouldn’t be the most universally funny thing if only half the population farted. Is it weird if I end this with, we’re all in this together? I mean, it’s kinda weird I mentioned fart jokes… here I go demonstrating that insecurity. 😉
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Hi Mariam, i do love ending my messages with fart jokes. i thoroughly enjoyed reading your thoughts on this life thing. i’ve forgotten what i’d written, so i will have to go back to see what i wrote. Thanks for the awesome response! ~amy
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Very cool post. My only “messin with the Bible” is the evolution of its translation. And since it was we humans responsible for what is being printed now, I’ve always wondered how much of its contents were put onto paper and edited for purposes of control over its followers’ interpretations and behaviors. Have a wonderful day.
WOW. Thanks for reading. I was rambling & i wasn’t sure i made much sense. I’m in the middle of a divorce & its a tough time, but far easier than the marriage was. Words hurt more is the title of the last 14 years of my life. Now that i’m almost free, i swear no one will ever hurt me with words. I will render them POWERLESS. ~amy
Ah Amy, how I wished I lived closer to you (like down the road), I’d be round in a flash for a yak. Yes I read it too .. and why wouldn’t I? Great post Miss … so much to think about. Perhaps Adam was boring? LOL. Incomplete .. with so much to learn. Yes? 😀
forget that, Julie! I’d be at your place for the yak. I heard a song yesterday about having a hole in me, that cannot be filled…maybe this song writer meant the same thing! I am so glad you laughed at Adam being boring. A relief really. Thank you for reading it! ~amy
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OMG, you read it?! That is so cool! Sometimes…ok, most times, words in my head tend to shatter onto the “page” & make no sense at all. Perhaps, i made a wee bit of sense in places? Thank you, Maverick for reading. ~amy
Trying to understand the Absolute of everything known or unknown to man or woman, is so vast that it will take a very long time to come up with an Universal answer. I prefer the simple things on Earth, like the smile of a baby, a kiss under the rain, or a touch of light at dawn. That’s why photography means so much to me, and you are very skillful in this fascinating craft or art. Semantics doesn’t change the subject at all. 🙂
Love your work. Thank for sharing.
Hi Omar, you are, of course, correct. I read all the time about the subject. I’ve heard words for fifteen years from someone & i’m finally free of them. I suppressed so much during that period of my life, that i am now plagued with why i tolerated it so long. So this, mess o’ words was part of my healing process. I suppose i wanted to know if anyone else had ever thought about such things…although in wordpress world.
your flattery on my pictures, whether they are called photography, pictures, snaps or art means a great deal to me.