for what it really is? We’ve all heard the saying,”take time to stop and smell the flowers” but really, who has time for that nonsense? Who has time to see the beauty in this invasive, defiant little wonder? I do. I see a little too much. Funny, that. I am legally blind in my right eye & nearsighted in my left. When I am home, I do not wear my glasses because I see too well. I see socks on the floor, an unmade bed, husky fur balls, fingerprints everywhere, nose prints on the windows. It is too much for me to see so many things that need doing All. The. Time. Too stressful to know I have a mountain to climb in putting everything back to rights. Who defines those rights? Well, I do. I want everything to be clean & uncluttered, but it is too hard with three children. Living with my children is only 18 years long…or, rather, short. When they are gone, the house will be perfect. Perfectly dull.
When I become the Photographer, I put my glasses on. I go outside & I see everything. I can go outside & spend ten minutes photographing all the amazing things Mother Nature has put in front of me. I can come back inside & load the photographs & edit them until they looked like how they made me feel. A bit of wonder that had caught my attention. The sun sliding across the flowers to show them at their best advantage.
I see the beauty in my children. I show them how I see them. They say I edited their faces or something. Yes, I say. I edit their faces as best I can, to show them what I saw while I was capturing them in real time. They’ve asked me why I edit the shadows beneath their eyes, I tell them, the shadows are cast by their long eyelashes. I tell them that when they are in movement, I do not see that, but the camera does. I blame them for having their eyelashes too long. They’ve accepted this compliment as it was intended.
I’ve been told it’s not a good idea to post my photographs of my daughters dressed up & beautiful. I tell people, life is so hard at their age. This young age when they are hyper aware of how everyone looks in school, television, magazines, movie stars, models that look sick… All children feel they have to look a certain way to be accepted. I know women that dress to impress for the grocery store, or church… We all live like that. We care how we look to others. But what I have done is to photograph my children at times when they feel beautiful. They see themselves on my computer screen, our walls throughout the house. I show them at their best advantage. They tuck this information away, like a secret. People may assume that I am teaching my daughters it is important how they look. I can understand that. I would rather teach my daughters how they really look then let any outside influence try to convince them otherwise. My daughters are comfortable in their skin.
Here is another one, “Life is a gift, that is why it’s called the present” Yeah, blah, blah, blah. But really, let’s break that down. If each day, each moment is a gift, then the people we are with, walk past, sit by, work with…are sharing this gift at the same time, right? So who is the most important person in your moments? Well, we all have our loves. Our family is our foundation, we are able to venture out & celebrate our gift of being alive today because, or sadly, in spite, of our family…would the most important people be the one who ran the corporation you work for? I would have to say no. I have an example, yesterday I went to the grocery store to order a flowers for a prom date. The man who helped me, at that moment in time, he was the most important person to me because I’d never had to order a flower for a boy for my daughter to pin on his tuxedo. I had questions, he answered them. He asked me when would I like to pick up the flower? I didn’t know if Prom was Friday or Saturday night! At that moment in my life, the only person who could help me was this man. He rescued me in a way. While we were together, no one else mattered. When we concluded our transaction, I gave him a huge smile & thanked him very much. I wasn’t a better human being because I was the customer & he was working at his job. He didn’t have to be kind & go out of his way to help me. What if my car battery died in a parking lot, wouldn’t the most important person in my life, in that moment, be the one to take time out of his/her day to jump-start my car?
I am a firm believer that everyone I meet has something to teach me. Sometimes it would by example or by chance. I will try not to permit the sharp edges of life give me the excuse to let loose my own version of right & wrong. Who am I to say I am right? It’s my life, my journey, me trying to find myself…my story, I hope when my story ends, I will have filled my days with beauty, acceptance, love & knowledge. There are no straight lines found in nature, or so I’ve been told. Straight lines are man-made. I will color outside the lines, I will follow Mother Nature’s lead. Or God, I would prefer to be on the side of Angels.