i receive the magazine, Esquire in the mail…love the articles. the April issue…the editor, David Granger wrote about the lives of women(domestic violence, rape, assault). He wrote, “This is unacceptable. This is no way to live. I don’t know if this issue of Esquire can do anything other then open eyes a little bit, as it has mine. Open eyes to the harm being done to women and to the anxiety too many women live with. And, if we are fair and just, it may also open eyes to the unintended consequences of some to the steps being taken to address our current difficulties”
Blah, blah, blah…we’ve all heard the same stories. so often repeated, they no longer have meaning for us. domestic violence against women–one in three women will experience it in their lifetime. block it out, it doesn’t have anything to do with you. the women (and men) who end up in a relationship that involves domestic violence are fools. you feel contempt for the woman’s weakness.
but guess what? you’re a fool too. you’ve been played before. do you doubt her & side with her husband…you’ve been played. do you doubt her stories? do you doubt your friend could ever make life for his wife so unbearable, her prayers involve wishing to die? her life is walking on eggshells, she never knows who he will be when he comes home from work. the hair on the back of her neck raises, the same time the garage door does. & triggers the fight or flight response…the longer she is with him, the more the flight response is triggered. she’ll hide.
imagine what it is like to live with a person that can change who he is at any moment? a type of monster–a shapeshifter.
if you have a sister, mother, friend, fall head over heals in love with the perfect man--watch your friend. if the light leaves her eyes, if she avoids you…those are signs to dig deeper. she is too afraid to move. she may be ashamed, embarrassed, believe that no one will believe her over him. she is paralyzed by fear.
all men & women must change the way they think of an abused woman…that she is a fool. if you feel contempt for her weakness, ask yourself if you were charmed by her man too.
if she confesses terror, or uses words like, “he won’t like it” “i’m not allowed” do NOT doubt her, regardless of how you feel about her spouse.
when a woman who has spent years walking on eggshells…as soon as the terror is removed, she will be dancing on air.
and it could be YOU that saved her.