My threes. The three things that bring me joy. Well, the first would be photography, which is easy to see in my blog.
my second…would be gardening. This is an example of what I picked, every other day, last summer from my flower gardens. I have five raised flower, veggie, fruit beds & three other plots that grow lavender, mums, calla lilies, roses, etc. Hydrangea everywhere.
I pick flowers & bring them inside. I UpCycle vases. I use old syrup, jelly jars, spice jars. I use the small & cute. I’m not a big fan of big displays of flowers, they interrupt the space. Some flower displays even dominate & that becomes an irritant. Something to be moved out of the way. Small vases tucked into small spaces brings…happiness.
This is what I do from May until October. When my gardens is in an in-between time-one burst of color to another, I supplement flowers from farmer’s markets or Whole Foods (i’m fell a bit out of love with whole foods, because they cut back full time employees so that wouldn’t have to provide health insurance. Here is the thing- you want good people working for you, happy people, people who work their hardest & stay the longest–you have a better store. Take care of your workers- employers! To be strong, you have to have strong support. Weak support won’t hold you up, I-don’t-give-a -rat’s-ass-about-your-shop, your store will fail) sorry, fell off the tracks there.
anyway
Ok, so that is two loves…photography & gardening. The third is art. I love to draw, paint & teach. I work by commission only. I’ve done two shows- my first show sold half of what I brought. But I felt too naked to stand beside any of my work. Here is an example of what i do.
Photography, gardening, art. Three things that make me feel as though I have a reason for being. I also have a broken pelvis. So my life is spent in bursts of good & then slammed in bursts of bedridden pain.
Butt. a broken one.
But, I’ve always had a purpose. I am now not able to work. I can’t be consistent. I’m having trouble learning to live without constant debilitating pain…sounds crazy, right? But when you are sick, do you curl into a tight ball & you become self absorbed in just trying to endure? This is what happens to everyone. My tight ball lasted for years. I am so very much better, but not good enough. I am struggling to find a purpose. Going mad with it. I’m a crappy housewife, but I’ve always been. I hate cooking, love eating though. I can get lost in the internet for HOURS & HOURS. Then I think, what have I done today that is real? I’ve said five words to human beings today. Otherwise, Im doing what I’m doing this minute. Blogging. My saving grace. But it isn’t real. I don’t make money from it.
Three things. What if I combined them? Flowers, photography & art like this:
I can go my own way. I can work with what I’ve got. Small flowers in a small vase with a powerful quote. Quotes like: You are listened to. You are important. Shoot for the moon. Keep your chin up, Beautiful. Wake up. kick ass, repeat.
live through this & you won’t look back.
i’m going to work. Do you think this will work? Can I deliver 5 small vases of flowers to family owned shops, maybe just one? prices start @$5.oo, but no higher then $25? Why can’t all people have sweet love for a few dollars?
I’ll need a best friend to help. My mother, the glass artist. My husband to support @ first. I’ll need earth, thrift stores, Upcycled glass vases, ribbons, paper, pens, courage.
Courage & purpose. Both good & bad things seem to come in threes…
Wish me luck.
2me4art 
Reblogged this on CareWare.
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Glad my words helped – we’re in this together, Gorgeous!
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Your words alway help. You deliver to me-cheer & wonderful stories & advice. I’m always happy to see you in my comment box. ~amy
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Oh. Mo. You understand. You are such a wonderful person. I do so love your sayings. Your advice is wonderful. I’ve suffered from fibromyalgia since 1997- shortly after the surgeon broke my pelvis. It is an awful thing to have. No one understands. There is nothing to see & you can try to explain, but then i just sounded like a broken record. My family has become much more supportive after the surgeon this summer, a fantastic hip surgeon & professor at Vanderbilt hospital told me & my husband that he has NEVER had anyone like me WALK into his office before. He helped my husband understand, that all that complaining came from a real physical problem, that no one else this doctor had seen– lived with & endured a broken pelvis without repair. I am so much better now that the infected bone has been removed & I get stronger everyday. I do have bad days & like you, I am learning to roll with the punches. I had a great week, because of my flowers & quotes. Then at 2pm yesterday, my body stopped cold in its tracks. I went to bed at three in the afternoon & stayed there, mostly sleeping, it hurt too much to remain awake, until this morning. today is going to be not great b/c of the rain. but I have avoided answering my comments on my blog far too long. I have over 135?! I’m going to be here forever. Thank you, Mo for being here for me. lending me strength & support. You are a wonderful person & I aways look forward to seeing you on my blog. Thank you for the vote of confidence for the idea of my little flower vases. I can’t wait until my gardens start to grow!!!! until then, I will keep finding wonderful quotes & my photos to go along with them. I am putting the quote you wrote onto a card. Thank you for it. It is very meaningful to me too. Have a great weekend, Mo. Thank you for everything. ~amy
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Amy, how did you survive your last pregnancy with a broken pelvis? It is a miracle that you had such a beautiful healthy child. It must have felt like your body was in a torture chamber.
I promise you that I have a true understanding of what that feels like. I also know how doctors can make you questtion your own sanity, when they claim there is nothing wrong with you, time and time again.
I realize how this affects the intimacy of a marriage. I realize how blessed you are to have a man who loves you stand by you. I realize that you are both human and what a challenge this has been for your relationship. I know how important the doctor validating you pain and suffering will help in your healing process. My heart goes out to you and your husband.
These operations were major surgeries. You have to take baby steps to achieve maximum recovery. You have to intuitively listen to your body and not over exceed your bodies limits. This is easy to understand intellectually but another thing all together to put into practice. As you have already discovered, every injury is diffrent in each individual.
I think this experience will make you an excellent nurse. I would really think hard and long on what nursing job you take because some require heavy lifting. I question whether it will ever be advisable that you have a strenous physical work in the future. Take care of yourself! Don’t get discouraged just listen to your body.
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Hi, Amy – I waited a while to reply to your post so I could think about what I wanted to say. In astrological terms, I have 9 air signs to thinking is always my response, it drives my husband mad but I live to keep him on his toes, lol. Chronic pain drags you down, it pretty much rules your life and people who say it doesn’t don’t know what they’re talking about. I broke my leg and ankle in 1996, best thing I ever did, because it brought me to a screaming halt, and it changed my life 360 deg. for the better. My friend gave this me this quote at the time, from Khalil Gibran’s The Prophet: “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding”, and the words my friend gifted to me were so prescient. Nevertheless, I’ve had to cope with fibromyalgia since 1999, and, having tripped over my dogs three times and accidentally fallen twice (my sense of balance is non-existent) onto marble tiles here in North Cyprus, I now suffer chronic hip pain and a pinched sciatic nerve. I’ve learned to roll with the punches. If I have a bad day, I rest. I do what I can and, as you know, I love my art and photography, like you. I really love your work and I think creating photos with inspirational words is a great idea. Your flower arrangements are beautiful, absolutely beautiful, and I feel that if you create a business because you love people, you love what you create, and you contribute to a more beautiful, kind, loving world, then that is brilliant. Just remember – you are you, not just wife and mother, but a great artist, photographer and someone who brings beauty into people lives with your blog. You are you regardless of what you create in your life. Take care of yourself because you are unique. You do not have to be constantly doing something to be of value to the world. I have found this out from experience – society demands we “do” something to be of value, when sometimes the best we can do is to rest, contemplate and remember the divinity within us. Plus of course, you love dogs, and as everyone knows, people who love dogs are THE BEST!!!!
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Good good luck, I’m sure you’ll make it work. I kind of understand your fear of feeling better. Although I have never had to deal with chronic pain, I do suffer from depression. I’ve finally decided to go back on medication and I’m frightened it will turn out that the grumpy shouty person is actually me, rather than the depression. I won’t be able to hide anymore, to curl in the corner and sob. But that’s not a reason not to take the chance and make the change.
I find you, your art and photography, and your constant ability to fight a huge inspiration. I truly hope you find a way to combine your loves (and if you start selling cards and fridge magnets, I’d buy some).
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Hello Amanda! I also suffer from depression. Black waves of it come & go~ a bit like the tide. I’ve yet to convince myself when I am in the dark, that it will be light again. And when I’m in the light, the blackness won’t return. It has been an endless cycle brought about by chronic pain. Oh, take the meds. & be grumpy & shout-y at first. if the meds. can help you stay out of the depression, be a person you don’t like for awhile. It won’t last, nothing really does last emotionally or physically. I think I’m going to reinvent myself everyday. If I am mean & grumpy, I will curl up with a good silly book or an even sillier show & hope it will pass. I’ve been taking the medications, at very low doses & at first, I felt nothing- I was a bit numb. But then one day, I felt young again. Young as in before hormones rocked my wonderful world of joy & discovery. I would be happy to mail you a few of my cards for you to pin up. Your address would be needed. My email is asaabsfables@gmail.com–I would never charge you for those. Or you can just take them off my blog & print them yourself. Thank you for your fantastic honesty. I treasure our pen pal friendship very, very much. More then anything, I wish you peace. ~amy
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How lovely to hear – it does feel like pen pals doesn’t it? I’ve used the tide analogy before for the depression. Or like getting a bad cold that on someone else looks like whinging but when you have it it’s just plain awful and seemingly never-ending. I feel like I have to reinvent myself every day too, I guess it’s no more than the world does, every time the sun comes up.
Xx
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ah. Brilliant, Amanda! I love, “a bad cold that on someone else looks like whining but when you have it its just plain awful” Very true. To keep myself from whining so much, I isolate myself, which, I’m sure makes it worse. Blogging really helps. Especially when I find another who fights similar battles. Have a great day reinventing yourself. ~amy
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🙂
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I think it would work. People feel if you make things with love. Good luck, and thanks for the blog, very inspiring!!!
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WOW, Bee. Thank you so much. You’ve helped give me more courage. Which was what i was asking for, in a round about way. ~amy
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Amy your art is inspiring. I especially am inspired by the one that says ” You must be the change you want to see”. I wish I had that on a Kitchen Magnet on my refridgerator. I think you could be quite successful in this new buisness adventure. I see that you have found inspiration, through the trials of chronic pain. You found light and inspiration in the pain and darkness. I think you found your calling.
I too have been plagued with chronic pain for years. Learning to thrive despite having chronic pain is a life lesson. A friend once told me to count your blessing everyday. It was great advice. Somedays they were the simplest pleasures. I thanked God for a sunny day, hearing children’s laughter and the endless love of my husband. I discovered gratitude, I became thankful for the things I still could do and not the things I could not. I found ways to enjoy the life that I have. I did just what your saying says, I became the change that I wanted to see. Thanks for putting into words what I was feeling in my heart.
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When I found that quote, it felt like it was written for me. Finally someone telling me to do something! I like to write to other’s who suffer with chronic pain, those who have learned to move forward & to accept it. When pain was at its strongest, is when I felt so alone, because everyone had heard it all before & it was all i ever talked about. I kept wondering why, why, why me? I’ve had the shifting bones locked into place & though I am not quite right, I feel better then then I have since 1997. I’ve been struggling with “better then ever”, because it has been so long since I’ve been anything other then awful. I feel a bit frightened by this feeling good thing. Is that strange? I have to reinvent myself. i hope that I find this project to help me thrive as an relevant human being again. 🙂
I tell people nothing matters more then your health & the health of your family. It is a gift. One that I point out to everyone close to me. My husband has been my life line & I know now how much he has suffered too.
Thank you so much for your comments, complements & mostly for sharing your story. You inspire me. ~amy
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I really feel you are afraid that the improvements in your health are too good to be true and won’t last. That is perfectly normal under the circumstance of living under such pain for so long. You are right to Enjoy and rejoice this respite from pain. I love inspirational quotes and poems. I write them down and put them on my refridgerator or on my nightstand. This is one of my all time favorites. . I thought these words might be exactly what you need to give you the confidence to move forward.
Our Deepest Fear
by Marianne Williamson
” Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens most of us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually who are you not to be? You are a Child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that others won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconciously give other people permission to do the same. As we liberated from our own fear, our presence automaticall liberates others”.
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I love, love, love this quote. It is so beautiful & meaningful. Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post. Thank you for thinking of this while reading about me. I am so very grateful for your understanding about what I am going through. You inspire me. You are a Blessing. I would like to post your quote, but with credit to you for showing it to me. ~amy
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I figured that you hadn’t seen this post because of where I posted it. I should have put it on the bottom of the page like I am doing now. I am soooo glad that you noticed it.
Thank you for your sweet and moving response. It really touched me. I think your an inspiration too. I had not planned to discuss my health issues on my own blog or else where, because like you yourself said chronic pain takes over our lives. The fact that you brought it up and it opened such heart felt discussions that shows people do need to talk about it and realize that they are not alone. This discussion give hope that there is a light at the end of tthe tunnel.
I feel we all need inspiration and food for our souls. Poetry, music and art are my inspiration. Feel free to my post my quote. Marianne Williamson’s, “Our deepest fear”, It is something that is meant to be shared.
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I will most definitely share your quote. I planned on doing so this morning after writing back to my commenters. I do think people with chronic pain need to meet others that suffer, because the people who surround us have no idea what it is like. I think it is free therapy. Good for the soul to wash off all that pain & despair that comes with it. ~amy
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I really like the third one of your combos. (You must be the change…)
Would including the source add or detract from the impact, do you think?
I don’t know if most people would know that Ghandi said it or not.
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Thank you for letting me know that Ghandi said that. I find some quotes on Pinterest & they have no source along with them. I will add Ghandi to the photograph. ~amy
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Go for it-you have some beautiful work here!
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Thank you so much, Nora! I need anyone & everyone to give me courage to try. Better trying & failing then never to try at all. But we have to be brave to start a new business! ~amy
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Amy, I think you are incredibly creative and talented…good luck!
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Thank you so much! I’ve had a wonderful time so far. I think I’m finally on to something & I thank you so much for your support & compliments!! Means so much. Happy weekend to you. ~amy
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I you think it, you can do it AMY!
You’re art is wonderful!
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whoops..if
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I think I’m going to do it. I mean I’ve been doing it for two years already, why not turn a hobby of love into a business. I’m just aiming to break even. A reason to go treasure hunting in thrift stores & yard sales! Thank you so much, Gail! ~amy
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that’s the best thing about loving what you do, right?
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yes, Gail. I love loving what I do & I love that I’m lucky enough to do it. ~amy
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🙂
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It took me some time when I was injured to figure to how to work around that to do something more than sit at a desk . My employer was helpful, unlike some previously mentioned places above and I’m still there 11 years later, though now part time. I still have bad days when I call in though. I finally got back to photography in 2009 and it has been a motivator to get me moving, especially this last year.
I think II understand your struggle to find purpose. I’ll spend a moment on my recent past. and theorize on yours, if I may.
Since you are a member of a loving family, you have purpose, already. Everything beyond that is a bonus. My wife spent two years unable to do much more than care for herself, sick with liver cancer. My purpose was clear and hers was to accept my help and love me in return. She understood that eventually, though there was always some small frustrations on her part, mainly when she needed my help to do simple things. Sadly, she passed away January 2013.
Yes, taking care of her with me being injured was difficult, but infinitely rewarding as well. Don’t think for a moment you don’t have a purpose, or value, or significance, please.
climbing down from soapbox, now 🙂
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Thank you so much for sharing your story with me, Robert. I have always had to do something, go to work, take care of children. This past summer I had two major surgeries that where I was required to remain in bed from june 27 until oct4th. I keep getting better, but not quite good enough to do anything for long. My family has learned to take care of themselves & they no longer need me. I’ve always been needed in some capacity & I’m floundering a bit with getting healthy, but without something to do. A surgeon broke my pelvis in 2007, so I’d been living every minute until a few months ago, being self absorbed in just enduring. I’m on the other side of all that pain…what do I do now? The post was putting together all these thoughts & questions as to what I want to do, what I can do, what will bring joy…
I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful for what I have, I was trying to convey the dilemma of who am I now. I am so grateful to my husband for helping me, of listening to the same words spoken over & over. I am grateful for my children becoming so mature & wise at such a young age. I am so grateful to be able to take pictures again.
I am so very, very sorry that you lost your wife. It must have been so difficult to hurt physically & mentally for so long, but still it felt rewarding to take care of her-as you say. It feels good to help others. It fills a need in us as human beings. It feels good for us to be strong so that those we love, can have us to lean on. One door closes & another door opens or we have to create a new door, if we have the courage to do so. I have a purpose as a wife & mother. I want a purpose to make other people happy with my flowers. this little box i’m writing in to you doesn’t allow be to go back to check for errors. You may get on your soapbox to me anytime, Robert.
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I would kill to have your … bowl for my catch of the day…on my coffee table. It is absolutely gorgeous!
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THANK you! I am very lucky to have five raised bed & a few other places for flowers all around my house. I LOVE gardening, I LOVE bringing them inside & planting them in vases in cute little spaces. Joy by the jar. Happy me. ~amy
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