PEACE is not something you wish for

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the english in the painting (which i painted), is an unfinished quote. Here is the whole of it: Peace is not something you wish for, it’s something you make, something you are, something you do,  and  something you give away. ~Robert Fulghum

the Hebrew is Tikkum olam…meaning ‘repair the world’ something Jewish people are taught since before they could walk – an exaggeration, it is taught to my children when they were four at our Jewish preschool, but most often, it is taught, at the beginning of Sunday School.

i had a dream the other night, or dreams, rather…they were all very scary, colorful, & so maddening, in my mind, trying to figure it’s definition…i woke up desperately trying to hold onto it, so that i could give figure it out. my dreams are elusive, when i wake, i try to hold onto them, but they are like holding onto slippery string attached to a grand piano…

the last dream, i managed to retain a bit more than usual…i was fighting something trapped in ice, the ice was vertical, like a large tree trunk, it was beautiful & i wanted it back. i knew it had belonged to me.  but, while i kept trying to reach whatever was inside, by use of a sledgehammer…just as i would begin to make progress, clear water would pour over the parts i had managed to dislodge & the water would freeze. i was so tired of fighting it, making no progress. piss off, really, enough to wake me.

i’ve been told, usually – dreams represent our struggles or on occasion, something happy. upon waking from this night o’ hell, i asked myself a question instead, ‘what lesson did i learn from this dream?’ and amazingly, i heard in my head, i suppose from my subconscious (adjective…1. of or concerning the  part of the mind which one is not fully aware but which influences one’s actions & feelings)  this, ‘you cannot attempt, to both, destroy & rebuild, at the same time’ i knew it had to do with my struggles of having to cope with trump winning the election, my life before marriage.  i think having my past trapped in ice, symbolized my life-which has been peaceful, or at least far more so than now. i have been hurting myself by being angry & afraid of trump…being afraid means i cannot move forward…the ice meant i’ve been trapped by my fear. & any hope of happiness means i have to let go of the fear.

yeah, i know, you think me mad as a hatter (they used Mercury to make felt hats, when men wore them…the men who made these hats didn’t live longer then three or four years) WHAT WAS SO DAMN COOL, THOUGH…was that after i wrote the meaning down-as soon as it magically popped into my head, i felt much calmer & less afraid.

ironically, that very same morning, i, for some reason, found a horoscope site on facebook, so i clicked & read Aquarius…

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and i see that the 19th of December is the day the electors will allow trump to ascend to his thrown. or at least, what i took it to mean from the “which will be annoying as fuck’

he will change the world in ways i cannot imagine. but i will attempt to keep myself happy by living in my own little bubble, (although, i may hide under the sand on Dec. 19th).

New Year resolution-i will MAKE peace, i will GIVE peace  & i will BE peace.

or at least attempt it. ’cause i gotta have faith…

8 thoughts on “PEACE is not something you wish for

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