contrasts abound…the soft looking petals vs the sharp thorns, bring the fluffy looking bumble bees with their sharp thorn-ed backside. This rose has hard light on one side with soft light fading into black on its other.

A rose is a lot like a human. The woman reveals her soft side more often, because showing the strength first can & does invite criticism. The man reveals his strength first, because showing the soft side can & does invite criticism. What if we all could admit we are all (mostly, really) like the rose & be true to ourselves first & foremost?

I suppose because our soft side cannot defend itself & can only exist along side our strength.

In fairy tales, the hero & heroine reveal both sides enough to fall in love. Fairy tales end with the two at their wedding. Sweet.

But did you notice that the main character’s parents are dead? In most Disney movies, the parents are dead, (Bambie’s mother shot before our very eyes…what the hell where they thinking?!) why do think that is? So that the main character has to learn how to become strong, otherwise the princess/princes would become a spoiled brat?

I noticed that most songs sung by men, seem to be so romantic, the ideal “prince”…we have grown up listening & watching romance & fairy tales. But what happens after the wedding?
The babies?

Well, laundry, making money, dirty kitchen floors, expensive diapers, grocery store lines, potato chips, tv, scales, skinny models, Disney movies, tv news, paycheck to paycheck…the thorns on the rose, the sting of the bee. Maybe that is why the man & woman begin their lives together as man & wife at the end of the movie/tv/romance novel. Because our real lives begin after the softness of romance ends.

Better to kill off the parents then to show them in their natural state. The struggles through monotony, tragedy, sickness, boredom, Love, babies, bandaids.  Have you ever seen a long stem rose growing in dirt? Not a pretty sight, they can grow very tall & gangly with thick, ugly thorns at the bottom. Better to lop off the ugly & to show only the  beautiful side.

No wonder we are all floundering in adulthood, the only role models we have are our own parents hidden behind closed doors…what we see from their struggles as children & then teenagers is stored away with the thought of, “I can’t wait to get out of here & do everything better then my own messed up parents”

I’ve been asked questions that I do not have answers to. My kids doubt me, that I don’t understand what they are going through.  I am honest when answering their questions.  I’ve said to my oldest child, I don’t know what its like to be you, feel or look like you.  I’ve said that I’ve never been 43 before, that I have never had an 18 year old daughter before.  I’ve said that everyday I am learning by doing…this living thing, this mom thing, wife thing, daughter thing, animal owner thing, terrible with grammar & punctuation-er thing, photographer thing, artist thing.

Tomorrow is a new day & I will meet it head on. I love a challenge. I try my best to live without regrets.  I say, “I love you & have a good day” to everyone in my nest when we leave it (they won’t always be here)

I try to arm my children with the knowledge that life can be both hard & soft, no matter our age. A damn hard rollercoster of joy & pain. I tell them that everyday is new to me too &  it is different from yesterday. I think the thing to remember is that with each passing day, I can carry the baggage of the past, or if I’m smart, take the lessons learned from yesterday.