I’m a photographer. I love taking photographs of people more then anything else. I do not ask, nor post, any photographs of the people I shoot. On a few occasions, my daughters have dressed up for a dance. Stunning changes occur…sparkly dresses, jewelry, makeup, hair done, they look like super models. Super models to me because they are beaming with happiness & excitement, they feel both beautiful & powerful & that makes them shine. I love to see them feel that way about themselves in front of me. It is a time to celebrate life’s cherry on top.
To me, my daughters are beautiful everyday. The everyday is jeans & sweat shirts with a pout… Mostly school tests, a quiz or a fight with a friend or chores or everyday stress puts on the pout. The pout is seen at home. I know they have a different attitude when in the company of their peers. I can handle the pout, as long as it doesn’t come with a whine or a yell. Home is where my kids can drop the act, the strength it took to be with others can be tucked away. They are safe to be themselves. Safe.
But today. Today, I was logged out of my blog. This happens to me sometimes. When I log back in, I see a page that I never see otherwise. This page is interesting because it gives information in a different way. I can see my top search engine terms. The words people enter into the internet to find something or someone. My second most popular search engine term was, “pretty sexy preteen girls” The internet directed them to this blog. To my daughters. I am sick. I did this to them. Me.
I am removing all images of my children. I see the world through my own lens. I WAS in the belief that I was showing portraits to friends & family. I never got many blog likes on my personal photographs…always less then 20. It wasn’t often that dances came about. The shine I photograph will remain private from this day forward.
The wolves have come knocking. When these animals search for “pretty sexy preteen girls” I hope they find a police officer or the Devil.