how to grow African Violets

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  1. buy african violets you LOVE.
  2. put them in a place of honor…water, but not on the leaves or the center, they hate getting their faces (or their bodies) wet. they like to dip their toes in the water, like little old ladies.
  3. watch the flowers die in a week or less.
  4. be pissed that you fell in love in the first place.
  5. put them out of sight, somewhere they don’t get much light. like a closet with a tiny window. in the corner, like a child.
  6. forget they exist.
  7. a month later, while shoving crap in the closet, you will find your African Violets are filled with amazing blossoms. (see above) (make sure to take photographs-to show people on social media. people will be shocked that you can really NOT kill African Violets)
  8. fall in love all over again.
  9. put them in a place of honor. enjoy!
  10. Β watch the flowers die
  11. tell them to f#@k off & die. (i think they like verbal abuse & neglect)
  12. repeat.

7 Comments Add yours

  1. Reggie says:

    I love African violets, Amy, they’re amazingly resilient. I know someone who, whenever a leaf falls off or breaks off, she will stick the leaf in the soil, add a bit of water, and then leave it… almost invariably, it will take root and before you know it, there’s another little African violet.

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    1. geez…who knew that? everyone but me, i think. I couldn’t believe how beautiful this plant flowered. it has only ever giving be two or three blossoms at a time. but this?! was worth photographing. i will try the leaf rooting thing. Thank you! ~amy

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  2. scifihammy says:

    This is so funny – and so true! πŸ˜€

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    1. OH! I’ve been waiting to see if anyone agrees with me! i think they flower as a last ditch effort to survive by flowering…it is their way of screaming HELP! πŸ™‚ ~amy

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      1. scifihammy says:

        I just find this with my plants. Pamper and molly coddle them, and they die. Shove them outside to fend for themselves, and they flourish! πŸ™‚

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      2. yes!! perhaps the flowering is really a cry for help? πŸ™‚

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      3. scifihammy says:

        Quite possibly! πŸ™‚

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