really. i want to test my theory. i want to know if the dots i connected are true. unfortunately i have to write about something no one gives a shit about. which is domestic violence. it is everywhere, but then throughout time, it always has been. i kinda know people don’t really want to read about the same old issues that don’t concern themselves. i’ll just make a few short sentences to see if someone agrees with me. here are some facts
3-4 million children between the ages of 3-17 are exposed to domestic violence every year.
an average of 3 women are killed every single day by their partners.
1 in 3 women experience domestic violence at some point in their lives.
ok. so we’ve all heard about this, filing the information in the “doesn’t concern me” part of the brain. but some of these women have children, what about them?
kids are being diagnosed for ADHD at a higher rate then ever before.
4-6 million children, ages 4-14 have been diagnosed at some point in their lives-a 16% rise since 2007 & a 53% increase over the last decade. typically signs & symptoms of ADD/ADHD appear before the age of 7. really? what are the signs?
behavioral responses like acting out
short attention span
forgetfulness
withdrawn
anxious to please
exhibit signs of anxiety…Oops. these are the signs of post traumatic stress disorders in children.
the point i’m trying to make is this. if there is domestic violence almost everywhere, then it MUST be affecting the children who live in these homes. i wonder if doctors are asking children questions about their home life before the diagnoses? are doctors using the diagnoses of ADD/ADHD as a bandage for troubled children?
these children suffer horrors at home, those feelings of fear & helplessness have to come out somewhere– when the child feels safe enough to try & get those feelings out of them. maybe these children a silently screaming for help. but there isn’t any.
maybe health care workers should dig a little deeper into the child’s life. alone & safe…can they? if a doctor discovers the truth, is he/she required by law to consult with Child Services? the doctor may not want to tear a family apart without probable cause. i know i wouldn’t want to report a family, even if i knew the father was violent toward the mother. why? a child suffers enough & the thought of having a child removed from his mother & put in protective services, really means a troubled child would go into foster care, yes? there has got to be a better way.
does anyone one know a better way?
i know our criminal justice system is too busy, our prisons are too full, our safety houses for women are too full. if a man hits a stranger does he go through the criminal court system? if a man hits his wife/girlfriend does the man go through the family courts? is there a difference? how is he punished?
this is what i’d like to happen to men who abuse their wives. i’d like them to be required to join the military-a special division just for abusive men. this special division is to be deployed to the most dangerous countries, to fight. this way, the real men & women in our country’s military would be safer. these men would be paid, but a large percentage would go to his wife/girlfriend & children. this way, the mothers wouldn’t lose their homes & fall into poverty. AND the BEST part? she wouldn’t have to be afraid of that dangerous man coming back to torment or kill her.
i also think that women who have been abused should get counseling–but just like alcohol/drug abuse systems, women would have a sponsor. another sufferer to share what happened & how to get stronger. someone to call every single day, so they know they are not alone. perhaps another women who is further along in counseling could be a sponsor. each woman would gain confidence & strength from one another.
well? i’d love to hear from some women that have lived as a captive in her own home, yet escaped it. i think if women share their stories with other women who have suffered the same way…they would be heard. AND they would have someone CARE.
oh, if wishes were horses beggars would ride…
2me4art 
the children are at high risk going into foster care system, and staying at home. The abusers must be forced into accountability. They will lie and deny. I’d have them get mandated 24-7 video/audio on them. They don’t bully/abuse those can fight back, just the weak and defenceless. The children never feel safe, no wonder the diagnosis rates of ‘mental disorders’ for them are skyrocketing.
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ADHD is also much more common in lower socioeconomic groups. Home environment absolutely is a factor. We do send all of these kids in for a psych evaluation and testing when they are diagnosed. The problem is what to do about it. The kids who have awful homes cannot all go to foster care, and foster care is far from perfect even if they could.
And these problems have all been around much longer than GMO’s. I’d worry more about the fact that many of these kids never see a vegetable.
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I agree that ADHD is more common in lower socioeconomic groups. These families endure far more stress. one of my best friends had her daughter diagnosed by her teachers when she was 10 years old (the family was very wealthy). This little girl was as calm & sweet as could be when i visited with her mom. i found it shocking,that she was disruptive in class, had a hard time making friends, didn’t pay attention…it was almost as if this little girl was two different people. But after my friend divorced her husband & told me of the abuse she endured…her daughter went into therapy & was diagnosed with PTSD, my friend was the one that told me doctors & teachers didn’t realize that the symptoms in children with PTSD are almost identical to those with ADD/ADHD. I’m happy to say that her daughter, with therapy, is no longer taking ADHD meds & has maintained her grades. it made me wonder just how many children were given medication as a bandaid. but this just circles around to what else is there to do? ~amy
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Although I think you have a great point, I’ve been wondering if it’s the introduction of GMOs into our food supply in 1996 that’s led to this problem. Maybe both are contributing factors? I like your idea about the military. Something needs to be done. In my local paper, abusers often get a slap on the wrist, and little or no jail time. It’s a travesty, really.
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Thank you for your comment…especially the “great point” part. i agree with you that some of the genetically modified food certainly could/does play a its part. i remember in my public school system there were troubled kids. This group of kids attended classes together, they acted differently from each other…one of them was a huge bully (he went after me once) but these kids, when they reached our high school did vocational school, they hung out in the smoking lounge together (i know, can you believe it! A smoking lounge in the school.) Perhaps this group today would have been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD to help keep them under control? what has changed in the last decade to have of ADD/ADHD go up by 53%? There was 9/11, the Iraq war, the Great Recession…those are the big things. before 9/11 there really wasn’t that much of an internet, nor news programs using shock value to get higher ratings…fear entered our homes. i’m thinking out loud.
i am glad you like my military idea. Most abusers think they’ll never get caught or if they do they can lie their way out of it. It is a slap on the wrist. I think that if it were possible to have the abusers treated the same as if they assaulted a stranger. but man, to be able to have a woman who is threatened by a man be able to say, “you hit me, i will have the army take you away” Or even if a man knew this was a possibility, he would learn to control himself. Thank you createarteveryday for your comment. really! ~amy
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You’re welcome! Here’s another big one in the last ten years: smartphones. I think that’s a huge factor in this, also.
Yeah, they should be treated exactly the same as though it was stranger. I really like your proposed solution.
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OH YEAH! That is a big one. I told my son that he has to do something other then be on his iPad or computer, he says he doesn’t know how to do anything else. So i introduced him to the vacuum cleaner. ~amy
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