photography

ewww, gross cockroach

Posted by A. Saab on March 31, 2014April 1, 2014

one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world is smart, beautiful, strong & brave. I sort of knew she was brave. But she blew me away with this today. Let me introduce you to the dreaded cockroaches of Alabama. Vermont doesn't have bugs this big. Alabama has roaches big enough to ride. As we were coming up from her basement this morning. She found this dead roach on a step. She picked it up like so...When I find a dead roach (the best kind of roach) I use a whole roll of paper towels to pick it up. These bugs crunch if stepped on, their insides are green & sometimes they can fly! Waaayyyy back in 1993, i moved into an apartment building. I was informed that they spray for bugs once a month. Yankee brain thinks of ants or beetles. Wrong. Oy. I was unpacking a box of silverware to put into a drawer & sitting their looking at me in shock was, i'm NOT lying, a two inch long beast that had risen from the depths of hell. I screamed, or rather, I SCREAMED. I scared the cockroach, so it jumps at me, bounces off my chest & flies across the kitchen. What I missed was what the cockroach said, "welcome to Birmingham, Alabama" I have kids & a husband that will get rid of the roaches (that must have a way to walk through brick walls) Some of my family members use five or six paper towels to muffle the crack & pop of killing the best. My husband was born & raised here & he, like my friend today, will pick the rotting corpses off the floor & flush them. — one of my friends is smart, beautiful, strong & brave. I sort of knew she was brave already. But she blew me away with this photographic example today. Let me introduce you to the dreaded cockroach of Alabama. Vermont doesn’t have bugs this big. Alabama has roaches big enough to ride. As we were coming up from her basement this morning. She found this dead roach on a step. She picked it up like so!? I was so impressed I had to document her bravery. Because when I find a dead roach (the best kind of roach) I use a whole roll of paper towels to pick it up. These bugs crunch if stepped on, their insides are green goo. Way back in 1993, I moved into an apartment building in Birmingham. I was informed by the apartment manager that they spray for bugs once a month. Yankee brain thinks of ants or beetles. **Wrong.** Oy, so wrong. The first one I saw was when I was unpacking a box of silverware, I opened the drawer & sitting there looking at me in shock was, I’m NOT lying, a two-inch long beast of a cockroach (that must have risen from the depths of hell). I screamed, or rather, I **SCREAMED**. I must have scared the roach, because it jumps at me, bounces off my chest & flies across the kitchen, lands with a smack to the floor & scurries under the baseboard. I missed hearing was what the cockroach had said, but later figured it out, “welcome to your new life in Birmingham, Alabama”
I have kids & a husband that will get rid of the roaches (that must have a way to walk through brick walls) Some of my family members use five or six paper towels to muffle the crack & pop of killing the beast. My husband was born & raised here & he, like my friend today, will pick the rotting corpses off the floor & flush them back to hell via the sewer system. Our next evil beasts, I plan to share with you, roams within our red Birmingham dirt are fire ants. Holy Moly.

16 Comments Add yours

Gretchen Del Rio says:

April 1, 2014 at 11:09 AM

I lived in Georgia when I was pregnant with my daughter. THE BIGS ( BUGS). I stopped gardening after finding a giant potato bug hiding in my tomato plants. It looks like a fetus and that was it for me.

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1. 2me4art says:
  
  April 1, 2014 at 4:15 PM
  
  Um…never seen a potato bug before. But if I do, I will scream for help & just keep gardening. I hope you are doing well, Gretchen! ~amy
  
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John says:

April 1, 2014 at 10:04 AM

They will be here after humans are gone.

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1. 2me4art says:
  
  April 1, 2014 at 1:33 PM
  
  So the world will be a beautiful place? Ha, thanks, John. ~amy
  
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  1. John says:
    
    April 1, 2014 at 2:33 PM
    
    uhg, I didn’t mean it that way – poo. I am so good at the open mouth, serve foot thing.
    
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  2. 2me4art says:
    
    April 3, 2014 at 8:27 AM
    
    Oh, no! You didn’t upset me at all! I was being silly, John! ~amy
    
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lemony69 says:

April 1, 2014 at 6:21 AM

Heavens! I would have dropped dead. Uäh

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1. 2me4art says:
  
  April 1, 2014 at 1:31 PM
  
  Indeed. Me too. She was so brave! ~amy
  
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The Crazy Crone says:

April 1, 2014 at 3:32 AM

2″? Pah, peanuts. I was staying in a Malaysian hotel when a monster 4″ roach started flying around. I had never seen a cockroach before that, had no idea what it was and was absolutely terrified. I managed to bash it to death but later, in the jungles at Chiang Mai saw even bigger ones!

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1. 2me4art says:
  
  April 1, 2014 at 1:28 PM
  
  Ok, you win. I could never handle that with any sort of sanity. I would run for the hills if I saw one that big. I’m lucky because my cat catches them, plays with them, then dismembers them. I find one leg on the living room floor. I wish she would clean up after herself! ~amy
  
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robert87004 says:

March 31, 2014 at 7:00 PM

I hate ’em with a passion!

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1. 2me4art says:
  
  April 1, 2014 at 1:22 PM
  
  I don’t think anyone can hate them without passion! They are so gross! ~amy
  
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jr cline says:

March 31, 2014 at 6:52 PM

We do grow them big here.

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1. 2me4art says:
  
  April 1, 2014 at 1:21 PM
  
  Jr Cline, they don’t grow here, the come up through the gates of hell & LIVE here. 🙂 ~amy
  
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  1. jr cline says:
    
    April 1, 2014 at 3:23 PM
    
    I think you are correct.
    
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  2. 2me4art says:
    
    April 3, 2014 at 8:27 AM
    
    Yes, I am. 🙂 Have a great day. ~amy
    
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